What I Will Wait For

I made this list while I was in a terrible relationship.  Now that I've finally escaped from said relationship, I decided to revisit this list.   You know that quote, "It's better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel alone..." Well, it couldn't be more true!!!  I never knew what a negative weight I was holding my shoulders until I finally was brave enough to release it.  I felt almost instantly happier.  I don't regret the decisions I've made or my past relationship, but I will say that it has certainly helped me realize what I want in a life partner and that it's so important to wait for that special person. So... in effort to never forget I truly want in my life teammate - I'm throwing it on my blog so I don't lose it! :)

When I stop to think about what I need from a boyfriend, here is what comes to mind… 

• They make me feel full of love and special.
• I never question how they feel about me because they find small ways to let know.
• I am never fearful to talk to them about anything whatsoever.  In fact, they are the first person I want to talk to!
• They never miss a moment to communicate their love to me.
• They will pull me close and hold me in the middle of the night randomly… just because.
• When I say I’m upset, they are concerned not defensive.
• They are selfless, not just with me, but in life in general.
• They are ridiculously kind.
• They put others first and have incredibly generous hearts – even at no gain of their own.
• They are very understanding and patient.
• They make me laugh.
• They like to let loose and just be goofy or playful – they can create their own fun and entertainment!
• Life with them is adventurous and never boring!
• It doesn’t have to be in public, but to me, they are lovey dovey.  They shower me with that affirmation simply because they love me that much.
• They would never do anything to hurt me.
• I can make them laugh!
• They are willing to give things up for me, as I would for them.
• They will never pursue something for themselves if it is incredibly upsetting for me.
• They are faithful.
• I never question their loyalty to me.
• They are as much of a dog person as I am – and want to be with Cooper before I even ask.
• They integrate me into their life and passion.
• Their world is not black and white – they are comfortable with gray sometimes.
• They are not uptight or make me feel like I’m walking on eggshells.
• We are each other’s biggest fans.
• They immediately like my friends, and my friends like him.
• They have their own strong core group of friends that they are excited to introduce me to.
• They make little efforts to make my day happier.
• They aren’t afraid to show others how they feel about me.
• They don’t shy away from talking about the future.
• They are not judgmental in nature
• They are open-minded!
• They listen and remember things I’ve said.
• They tell me what they think and aren’t afraid to communicate.
• They are never too busy for me!
• They make plans to do things I’ve mentioned that I’d love to try.
• They are genuinely concerned if I’m sick and will bring me something, even if I tell them not to!
• They are excited about a future that includes me.
• I never feel like an obligation or accessory.
• They don’t keep secrets from me.
• They stick around and work harder even when things get difficult.
• Time with them never gets old or boring.
• They value me as a person and a friend – not just as a significant other.
• They commit.
• They know exactly how to make me smile – even on my hardest days!
• They want to get to know my family and enjoy spending time with them!
• They never lose their gentlemanly traits even when the “honeymoon” phase is over.
• They make me laugh more than they make me cry!
• They understand that relationships take work.
• They appreciate the things I do for them.
• They never let the romance die!
• They factor me into their decisions – especially their big life decisions.
• They want to take getaways together.
• I never feel unattractive or unwanted in their eyes.
• I never feel empty in my relationship with them.
• They make me want to be a better person in every way.

Behind Every Door...

Do you ever stop and take a moment to reflect on your past and how you got to this point? I do it all the time. I believe I've grown to appreciate life more through the reflections; to trust it more.

I know, too often, we're faced with really difficult decisions. Decisions where you veer left or take a hard right. There is no gray area. These times bring a great deal of stress and anxiety for many of us. Sometimes people look back and really regret their decision, but what if you look at it from a different perspective?

I don't think there is a right or wrong decision when it comes to paths taken in life. If you go left, it will put you on a different road than if you chose to go right, but it's not wrong! I have made some decisions that I wanted to regret sometimes. Dated a bad guy once. Endured some stuff that I never would wish upon anyone, but I don't let myself regret it. In fact, I'm thankful for that relationship! If it weren't for that relationship, I wouldn't be living where I do or have some of the strong friendships that were spawned from that painful relationship. There was a reason why I entered that relationship. There was a reason I crossed paths with that boy. It took over two years for me to come to that understanding.

I truly believe that every big decision you make is just another intersection on your road of life. "When one door closes, God opens a window." I'm sure you've heard that quote before. My Pastor, Andy Stanley took another approach, similar in meaning, that I loved. He said that God uses one opportunity to bring us to another opportunity. I think back to my decision to find an apartment of my own in the city. So many factors had to be considered: where in the city, what budget can I afford, etc. I chose what I felt in my gut would be the best for me even though I had many that disagreed. Through that decision, I have met some of my closest friends, a community that allowed me to have my own pup (my biggest wish), I have ended up working for the complex and I have yet to see what else stems from that decision.

Sometimes it's just fun to think, "What if I chose B instead of A? I wonder what my life would be like?" But always appreciate the journey. When you take moments to stop and reflect, you can see how fast life really does pass us by! Embrace it. Continue to chase your dreams. And be thankful for your past.

Just Friends?!

Harry: No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.

~When Harry Met Sally

I used to work for someone who made a living entertaining people through their dating and relationships questions. One topic that I saw come up a lot (and have personally chatted about on nights out with the girls) is the question... Can guys and girls really be just friends?!

Just this past weekend a bunch of us gals went to see "No Strings Attached" and got to talking about if a relationship like that could be pulled off! Frankly, I wish it could! Sometimes in your life you need a little fun, but don't have the time or desire for a full on relationship. I personally am not a very mushy girl - in fact mushy/needy makes me run the other way. So sometimes I think I'd be prefer a casual relationship. Though I feel like it's still more acceptable for guys to pull this off. That, or guys are better at pulling off a 'no strings attached' relationship. Of course they rarely work out... someone either falls or jealousy takes over.

But aside from that... we often hear the joke "being put in the friend zone!" So... can guys and girls successfully be JUST FRIENDS? The quote at the top of the blog, from the movie "When Harry Met Sally," tells us no. My brother and law would agree with that quote. As he says, "No normal man would ever say I want to be just friends and continue to hang out with the girl all the time!" I was recently cast into the "friend zone" for the first time in my life. My bro-in-law and all my fellow (guy) agents think that's impossible. They believe that if I were interested in a dude, he's not going to want to be just friends! Guess that might be how the man brain works?! While that's a nice compliment, I have to disagree!

There have been some guys that I've crossed paths with that have alluded to trying the dating thing. First, I'm not a big "dater" just never been a big fan. Second, there have been times where I wouldn't even venture down that path for fear that I would lose that guy as friend if the dating thing didn't work out, so I say no before even giving it a try! *Might be why I'm still single - ha ha!* Some people you just don't see in that light, but think they are an incredibly great person! Some of my best relationships are with my guy friends. They're relaxed, usually drama free, and honest. What you see is what you get! That is what I found my friendships with guys to be like, and I cherish those friendships.

So... what do you think? Can guys and girls be just friends?! Or does sex get in the way making it too complicated?!

What's Worse - Fakers or Haters?!

"You can't brown nose your way to success..."

There are many great things about the social media world; there are many annoying things as well. The tweets, the status updates, the tweets posts that are connected to Facebook - it's everywhere! I was perusing them all the other day, and I discovered something. When taking a moment to look at someone's tweets or posts... you can really see who the brown nosers and fakers are!

Some things really got under my skin. Many of the folks that are my facebook "friends" or that I follow on twitter are in the Entertainment Industry with me. And I know... I've heard it enough that you have to save face and wear your "musician" mask when you're in this industry. And when I first started out, I bought into it. But now I see that's a bunch of bull! It is far from difficult to remain true to yourself and a good person in this market as long as you keep your morals in check. Oh and actually put forth some hard work.

I do believe it is necessary to be nice to everyone. Even if you wouldn't want to have a personal relationship doesn't mean you can't have a business relationship with them. Here's what gets me though... When someone is hating on someone else; talking trash behind their back but then goes and tweets about how AMAZING they are. Or when someone says what a BEAST another artist is, when not too long ago they were saying how awful they were and shouldn't be famous. THAT bothers me. If you don't like them, then you don't like them. Why go out of your way to lie just to gain another superficial friend?

I hate seeing those fakers fooling so many people. I've never understand how someone can keep up with that fake persona... it would be too exhausting. So what's worse... the fakers or the haters? In all honesty... the fakers are the haters! They are brown nosing everyone in site because they are trying to steal any bit of attention that they can. I sure hope that quote is true and they won't be able to brown nose their way to success.

The True Meaning of Christmas

"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." ~Eric Sevareid

I am going to preface this post by saying that there is such an honesty to this entry that I am going to feel incredibly vulnerable. My thoughts will expose things about me that most have never known, and my new discoveries and feelings will have many that will completely disagree with me... And I am okay with all of that. :)

I'm not sure where to begin...

December 25th is a day that has come and gone in my life for 25 years. For years, Christmas to me was snow, Santa, baking cookies, giving presents, eating lots of yummy food and seeing family. I loved listening to Christmas music, but the lyrics to songs were just words to me. I was not raised religious. My family didn't attend church, though I have always been a believer, I was naive to the idea of God, Jesus, Christianity as a whole.

Fast forward to December 2010, I would still not say I am religious. However, I am beginning to have a very new and refreshing perspective on life and how I want to live it. In December of 2008, I attended Buckhead Church for my first time. My dear friend Chinua was kind enough to persuade me to tag along with him (I would have never braved it alone in that day). Two years later, I have not missed a Sunday so long as I've been in town. Sundays have grown to be one of my favorite days of the week! I could rant and rave about this some more, but I think it might be best saved for another entry.

Andy Stanley typically speaks to us in a series where several Sundays we dedicate to a particular topic. They are spoken in a way that don't make you feel as if you are being preached AT, and they are always delivered in a way where you can find the application to your life. Once and a while, we'll dive a little further into Biblical stories (which I love too since I'm learning something new). During this Christmas season, Andy shed a lot of light to the story of Christmas, it's meaning, and why so many believe. Again, he never tells you to believe, even admits to how 'unbelievable' some Biblical things can seem. However, something in me this year clicked. It wasn't a change in my thought process or my beliefs. It was a feeling that just rushed over me. The holiday had such a stronger meaning to me now. I found myself truly hearing the words in songs and having a lump in my throat.

I am the type of person that allows everyone to believe what they will. I will never preach or tell someone how they should think or feel, and I appreciate when others do the same for me. I had been in a working environment where I was surrounded by people that were non-believers, but also spoke loudly against those who chose to have faith. It was ironic to me that they came into my life at the same time that I was discovering this new faith in my heart. But with that said, I have so many friends with differing opinions on the subject and I encourage you to continue to believe what you will, and let others do the same...

I, however, have begun to implement some changes in my life. I have removed myself from that working environment. I have a much stronger connection to my own personal faith, which I still deem to be a personal relationship, one that I'm still exploring. But through these things, and others, I have a new refreshing feeling and outlook on life. I want to be a better person every day. I've always loved to give to others, but this season I wanted to dive deeper than that. I, for the first time, focused on cherishing the people I have in my life (all their faults and quirks included)! And I sat back to truly count my hidden blessings. I am in a period of uncertainty, with many aspects of my life needing to be fulfilled, but my faith has never felt stronger. Realizing that puts a calm in my heart and a smile on my face.

There is so much more to Christmas than snow, Santa, cookies and presents...

Strengthening My Faith

I do most things through music. At this point in my life... this song sums up everything, and is all I need! ♥

I say a prayer every night, whatever I do, I'll get it right
With no regret, no guilt or shame this time, no not this time
Once I surrender, I won't dare look back, cause if I do, I'll get off track
Move ahead in faith, and patiently await your answer, what will it be

[Chorus:]
Sight beyond what I see
You know what's best for me
Prepare my mind, prepare my heart
For whatever comes, I'm gone' be ready

Strength to pass any test
I feel like I'm so blessed
With you in control, I can't go wrong
'Cause I always know, I'm gonna be ready

I was free to do, what I wanted to, lost everything, but I still had you
You showed me your grace, now my life's renewed and I thank you, yes.. I thank you
So I'll tell anyone who'll listen, I'll testify
About how good you were to me, when so call friends passed me by
The fact that you would show somebody so broke down, so-much-merccccyyy...

[Chorus:]
Sight beyond what I see BEYOND WHAT I SEE
You know what's best I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME
Prepare my mind...PREPARE MY MIND AND PREPARE MY HEART
For whatever comes...FOR WHATEVER COMES I GONNA BE READY

Strength to pass any test GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO PASS ANY TEST
I feel like I'm so blessed I KNOW THAT I'M SO BLESSED
With you in control...YOUR IN CONTROL LORD, CAN'T GO WRONG NO
'Cause I always know...CAUSE I KNOW THAT I'M GONNA BE READY

So use me as you will, I'll pay the price
'Cause made the ultimate sacrifice
It's all because of you, that I even have life
And I'll give my love, as a tribute, to how great you are...

[Chorus:]
Sight beyond what I see BEYOND WHAT I SEE
You know what's best I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME OHH OOHH
Prepare my mind...PREPARE MY HEART AND PREPARE MY MIND
For whatever ...FOR WHATEVER COMES I GONNA BE READY YEAH YEAH YEAH

Strength to pass any test I WANNA PASS THIS TEST
I feel like...I KNOW THAT I AM, KNOW THAT I AM, KNOW THAT I'M SO BLESSED
With you in...YOUR IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE LORD, I CAN'T GO WRONG NO
'Cause I always know...AND I KNOW IT I'M GONNA BE I'M GONNA BE READY

I'm gonna be ready THIS TIME I'M GONNA BE
I'm gonna be ready CAUSE YOU LIVE DEEP INSIDE OF ME
I'm gonna be ready AND I KNOW IT'S IN YOUR WILL FOR ME TO BE READY
YEAH YEAH YEAH UUUHHHHH
I'M GONNA BE READY

The Ugly Truth

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him."

What a wonderful weekend it's been. I enjoyed the nights out with the ladies, but equally enjoyed my Sunday night IN! I went on my weekly trip to Target (I always seem to forget something on my list!) While there I bought "The Ugly Truth" a movie I had been itching to add to my secret chick flick collection! ;) I got to thinking after the comedic film... the truth about the "dating" world really is ugly!

I'm not a dater... I have chosen to stay out of the world as much I can. To me, it's awkward and lots of times... a waste of time! I have many friends that are the "Go, it's a free dinner!" kinda girl. I, on the other hand, won't typically accept a drink from a guy at a bar because then I feel obligated to give him a good chunk of my time. And if I'm not interested in doing that, I don't think he should have to spend any money on me! I get crap for this a lot, but really... if I know I'm not into you... let me help you save our time and your money!

You see, I have been in a relationship for most of my "dating years." I have entered the single world after some painful relationship experiences and had no desire to let anyone in for a bit. My brutally honest friends tell me that I am "too damn picky and need to put myself out there more!" And they're probably right, maybe I need to give more dudes a chance before writing them off so quickly. I just truly haven't come across any guys in this city that seemed genuine enough for my time. There has been maybe ONE I might have been interested in... but most of the guys in this city are really not worth that extra minute. Or is this the Ugly Truth about the dating world?!

I'll give you a great example from this weekend:

While dancing with the gals, a guy had a security guard come get me to bring me to their VIP section. I told him not unless my girls come too - we're a package. The minute we walk up he pulls me aside and the first line out of his mouth was, "Do you want to go to a huge mansion and fu*k?" REALLY?! I laughed in his face and told him he had to be joking and I most certainly did NOT want to do that and we left that section soon after to be back to just us girls!

Now I'm going to try and remain positive and not lump all Atlanta men into this idiocy bubble, but more often than not, I have stories like the one above than good stories to report. I'm not saying I was in a productive environment to meet a decent man that night. In fact, I vow that you can't meet someone at a club or bar (but I try not to say never). However, accumulating all the stories from my girlfriends that I hear... there are some nightmares out there!

Which makes me want to continue to stay far away from the painful dating world. Don't get me wrong. I can't wait for the day to meet a cool guy that I can cook for, have a beer with, laugh with, and give lots of love and surprises to. But I'm not so eager that I have to fill my now with lots of guys on the hunt for that special one. I'm just gonna keep living my day to day... for myself: living on my own, paying my own bills, working hard, and enjoying my time with my friends, family and pup! And I will always turn to this song to give me that extra bit of hope! ;)